Mission in the River Styx

Hello my dears. As it happens, I regret to inform you that I left out much of my week yesterday. Evidently I was distracted. I left out the moment when I was talking to my flight deputy CTO Arias and I somewhat randomly commented, "Yeah you are right. Maisonet's little brother is cuter."
This was a reference to a comment she had said the day before. Let's be real here, neither of them are cute in my opinion, however, if one was better than the other, baby Maisonet has a better jaw line. This comment was of no importance whatsoever until Brian responded in surprise. "What? {Cowgirl} interested in guys???"
Most of my readers know me, and may possibly know that I have been ready to get married since preschool, so you can understand why I found this exclamation pretty entertaining. Needless to say, I was like Bro you're dumb.
I also forgot to tell you guys about the night of the fire drill. It was after lights out, I had my hair down and wet from bathing and was trying to sleep when suddenly CTO's were shouting, "Fire! Fire! Get to the rally point!"
I grabbed my glasses and my shoes and left post haste. Upon arriving at the rally point, a CTO laid eyes on me and began to shout at me. Where is your hat cadet? Where is your camelback cadet? Your hair needs to be up and in a bun!

Fortunately I am brilliant and fortunately I wear glasses. I took the sports strap off of my glasses and carefully tied my hair into a bun. Bam What?!? One of the cadets in our flight, Parker, never made it to the rally point because he was sleeping and didn't hear the CTO's. Parker died in the "fire".

The next night there was a disaster drill. I am going to be honest, I have never been in a disaster drill and had no clue what to do in one. However, I did have a schedule (Which btw I was not supposed to have.) so I knew that I needed to be ready for...well I wasn't sure. I told my dorm mates to be ready and we were. They were waiting for the call to action in the living room fully clad  with camelbacks and hats ready. They were pretending to sleep. I was a bit more discreet. I was laying on my bed, also fully prepared with the exception of my shoes. (I didn't want to appear too ready.) It would seem that my dorm mates knew what standard disaster procedures were because apparently they went straight for the bathroom while I was on my way to the front door. We got in trouble. (I was quickly directed to the bathroom btw.)  So there we were, huddled and shaking on the bathroom floor, getting interrogated by CTO Kuder, the only blonde female CTO. She was furious, and wanted to know how we knew about the drill. I half way honestly mumbled "Word of mouth." All of the cadets had been whispering about it. I left out the fact that I had a schedule. Black, the girl next to me, said that one of the instructors had dropped a hint during academics. CTO Kuder went to check and well, he denied the whole thing so she was really angry at us for lying. I felt really bad. It was horrible. I told her the truth on the last day of camp.

During this camp I learned more about sexual stuff then I have ever before, and not surprisingly was terribly confused. (I am not explaining, okay, I don't want to confuse you too. Because I love you.) I had thought that certain things that people do is really gross and probably sinful because it didn't seem like natural to be honest. So I asked mom about it and she just got super awkward. I was like crap. Does this mean I am going to be nasty like that too? Is that what my husband is going to want from like? AAAAAAAH. 

I honestly have no idea where to go for information at this point. This isn't really something the Bible can answer, evidently mom will not answer, I can't go to the internet. Can't ask peers because the ones with wise advice don't have experience with this sort of thing. Yeeeeeahhhh..... *dies*

I miss my ignorant days. I really do. Guys, keep your children ignorant until they are big and then ease them in slowly. 

Okay, I think that is most of what I forgot to talk about. Before beginning this post, I checked how many reads my last post has just to see. There were two. The intriguing thing is that I know exactly who those two readers are because they texted me right afterwards. LOL

Anyway, moving on. I was inspired to write a poem yesterday while I was at church. I do not recall exactly what inspired it, but I think it was the graphic wording in my King James Bible. We were reading about when Paul got shipwrecked and there were words like tumultuous. While we read I was there on the ship too, thrashing about, unsure which way was up. The gray sky blended with the ocean and the spray of water came from every direction. I was clinging to a rope slick with water. My small body was being snapped this way and that with the vicious rocking of the ship. Then the reading ended and I realized that was how I felt inside after camp and the things that I had learned there. So I wrote a poem, for you guys because you like my poems and also for myself because they allow me to express my thoughts in ways I wouldn't normally be able to. So here it is, Mission in the River Styx.

On the edge looking in; it ain't so bad.

No, not too grim.

Safe here tethered on the gravelly shores of Styx.

All that's to do is reach in, grab a soul and retreat.

A sure leap. Tethered tight, ready prepared and focused on my task tonight.

A shocking plunge into the cold grimy deep.

Panic ensues. Death, pain, fear and agony.

It's everywhere, they surround me.

Tossing and turning beneath the tumultuous waves

Confusion. The water is murky, baffling.

A tender hopeful hand reaches and grasps one of the dim screeching souls.

Slimy and slick. It burns my flesh as it wishes past.

Mind reeling, all is pain and befuddlement.

What is up? What is down? What is right? What is wrong?

Lifeline pull me out!

I can't take this plunge in the river Styx. It's too much. Sightless and atrocious.

I cannot handle this.

The only thing keeping me from drowning, soft glowing life light.

Tight about my ankle. Achilles heel.

What made him human has given me life.

If you let go, if I release

I'll sink, fail, and fade to grey like these.

Souls; sad, lost, diseased.

See them drift aimlessly.

Lost in the grimy river Styx.

Wait don't pull me out quite yet. Just hold me tighter.

Grasp my hand.

Clear my mind from sin’s thick fog.

Be my oxygen so I can fulfill this mission
Down in the cold dark depths of the river Styx.

I hope you guys like that. I am going to go downstairs now that my brother is awake from his nap. Have a great day.