Hello people. I am in kind of a mood today. (Not an angry one, more depressed.) You see, I have these friends. One exaggerates the truth and gets himself into trouble. (Like seriously I think he disowned his family and they him among other things.) And this other friend who is just so filled with a burning anger and lack of love that she is left with no faith in humanity. {What about faith in God?}
No. None of that either. She hates Him. She always tells me these stories from her past and finally I have reached that point where I just do not believe a word she says. I used to believe her with a hint of skepticism but now this is getting out of hand. My trust began the downward spiral draining away when she flat out lied to our math teacher. Now all I hear are flat out lies and half truths. I told her that I don't trust her and she replied sharply with, "Why do you talk to me then?"
I had no good answer, but you really don't have to trust someone to talk to them so it was a rather dumb question. Then she went on to tell me that she wouldn't care if I stopped talking to her. To be honest, that translated to, "I won't care if you stop being my friend because you are my plaything that I tell stories for my personal entertainment. I am not your friend, I never really was. This is all a game."
Is that too dramatic after her insisting that I have too much trust in people??? I don't know. I am struggling to not throw my hands into the air and say "I quit. Go ahead and ruin your life." But we all know I can't do that, right? I don't even know anymore. The only thing that can help them is Jesus at this point. (And lots of wisdom and integrity.) I don't know what to do. I want to scream or cry or shout or destroy. I would tell this all to my boyfriend but I am struggling there too. I am often dreaming of being with a different guy, doing things that I would do with him and enjoying it immensely but also being filled with guilt. So I am probably the worst girlfriend ever. I don't know if I dream this out of lack of confidence or because he is so far away or if maybe us being together is just wrong. The guys in my dreams tend to be the guys that in some ways I find attractive, but all have some major thing about them that would cause me to never want to actually be more than friends with them. (For one friends is almost more than I want. He is super rude and proud.) So maybe my dreams aren't important. I don't know. I also don't know how to fix it. I am just drowning right now. It's fine. Whatever.
On the bright side, I was able to design my mom's photography website last night. Also at the awards ceremony I was recognized with a national award from the navy for leading by example. It was super exciting because the award was presented to me by my friend the Navy guy. We have a special relationship. I put him in the yearbook.
Also, I made a new friend. His name is Co Pilot. He lives on the driver's side door on my car. He is a spider. Super cute. This is my award BTW.
No. None of that either. She hates Him. She always tells me these stories from her past and finally I have reached that point where I just do not believe a word she says. I used to believe her with a hint of skepticism but now this is getting out of hand. My trust began the downward spiral draining away when she flat out lied to our math teacher. Now all I hear are flat out lies and half truths. I told her that I don't trust her and she replied sharply with, "Why do you talk to me then?"
I had no good answer, but you really don't have to trust someone to talk to them so it was a rather dumb question. Then she went on to tell me that she wouldn't care if I stopped talking to her. To be honest, that translated to, "I won't care if you stop being my friend because you are my plaything that I tell stories for my personal entertainment. I am not your friend, I never really was. This is all a game."
Is that too dramatic after her insisting that I have too much trust in people??? I don't know. I am struggling to not throw my hands into the air and say "I quit. Go ahead and ruin your life." But we all know I can't do that, right? I don't even know anymore. The only thing that can help them is Jesus at this point. (And lots of wisdom and integrity.) I don't know what to do. I want to scream or cry or shout or destroy. I would tell this all to my boyfriend but I am struggling there too. I am often dreaming of being with a different guy, doing things that I would do with him and enjoying it immensely but also being filled with guilt. So I am probably the worst girlfriend ever. I don't know if I dream this out of lack of confidence or because he is so far away or if maybe us being together is just wrong. The guys in my dreams tend to be the guys that in some ways I find attractive, but all have some major thing about them that would cause me to never want to actually be more than friends with them. (For one friends is almost more than I want. He is super rude and proud.) So maybe my dreams aren't important. I don't know. I also don't know how to fix it. I am just drowning right now. It's fine. Whatever.
On the bright side, I was able to design my mom's photography website last night. Also at the awards ceremony I was recognized with a national award from the navy for leading by example. It was super exciting because the award was presented to me by my friend the Navy guy. We have a special relationship. I put him in the yearbook.
Also, I made a new friend. His name is Co Pilot. He lives on the driver's side door on my car. He is a spider. Super cute. This is my award BTW.
Now that I have expressed my innermost emotions and others, I will leave you with this question.
Is integrity important to society? Is honor a necessary part of integrity? Please answer in the comments, I want your opinion.
Also, my friend probably read this and will be mad. I am fully aware of this just so you know. I will take the consequences that occur.
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