Cloudless Rain

Hello my dears. Today is Tuesday. The word of the day is Kismet. That mean fate or destiny.  It is a noun.
I am nonsensically rambling on about unimportant information.
Well, my friends left me yesterday. In a way, we left them first though because we dropped them of at a hotel yesterday. They are flying sometime today. There was laughter and crying. But before we left the hotel, we had a great time together. Steve, my Brute and I explored the hotel and even raced up and down the stairs. Whenever we were in the hallway, I would say, "Act cool." and then start laughing uncontrollably. Once, Steve and I raced down the stairs, we thought we'd lost Justin (My six foot two inch Brute) and then out of nowhere he jumped down the last few stairs and grabbed me round the shoulders. We had a lot of fun. We even danced a bit. I have never had so much fun in a hotel. Then the time to separate came nigh. We were desperate and dramatic. Emotions were running high. I tried to be strong, but then I saw Steve (Candice) crying. First one tear, then the next. We grasped each other tight and cried and laughed. It was the strangest thing. Nathan (their brother) was all, "I am a sympathetic crier..." Even Justin cried.  The only one who didn't shed a tear was their father. So on the way home, I took advantage of our emotions and wrote a poem.

Cloudless Rain

We embrace as if for the last

Dramatic as a trip to the guillotine.

We cry and laugh.

Grief tears at my heart but I am smiling.

Tears escape and I laugh despite sorrow.

My heart

It’s as indecisive as the yin yang

I feel

Much like a cloudless rain.

I look up to see the sky

Clear and blue and bright

Yet there is rain.

I feel joy and smile and laugh

Yet there is pain.

Not sharp, barely even there,

Yet it absorbs my all.

We cry.

What does it take to separate loves?

Slowly the embraces end.

Noses sniff. Tears flow.

One last touch of despairing fingers

Then the distance begins to grow

Deeper, longer, farther.

We embrace as if for the last.

Dramatic as a trip to the guillotine.

We cry and laugh.

We dance in the cloudless rain.

Everyone wanted Justin to kiss me or me to kiss him, except my dad who wasn't there. We did not kiss. However, we also didn't want to release each other. It just wasn't happening. Until it did.

I have been (understandably) a little moody today. I accidentally snapped at my friend Monster today. She was showing me the smudges on her hand from writing. "Lefty problems." She told me. Being left handed, I completely understand. I showed her my left hand, which was clean because I have learned to not smudge my writing. She said something like yeah, you are right handed because you are religious. Usually, this would launch a calm, conversation to alleviate her misunderstanding. However today, my reaction was a slightly repulsed, "What the heck?" (Actually in my mind it was written in all caps...) 

Not my best moment. I apologized. In that moment I was frustrated because not only did she assume I was right handed like most of the world, but also that it was because of my religion. She thought that my story was the same as hers. So we had a conversation. I also explained to her that I am snappy because of yesterday. She understood. I am pretty sure her boyfriend lives a small distance away too. (much smaller than mine, but still there.) She encouraged me to vent on her, but I refused because at that point I had already tackled my emotions and shoved them back into their cage. It is almost fifth period, I always cry in fifth period. I am not looking forward to my weakness hour. Wish me luck you guys. Those particular friends that are now so far away, are nearly my other half. It is going to be a long year, but we will make it. And God keeps whispering in my ear, "Count it all joy..." 

Have a good day y'all.